Your Unauthorized Guide to the Golden Age of National Lampoon Magazine

June 1970, Vol. 1, No. 3 / Blight

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COVER: “Faster than a seeding pustle, more powerful than Connie Francis, Arnold Roth’s sensitive landscape suggests the ecological dilemma in which man finds himself today. Up to his ears in it, too.”


Editorial, By Doug Kenney
A twist on an old Indian proverb: “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man with no feet.”

Letters, From the Editors

Horrorscope, Uncredited [Doug Kenney]
The futures of celebrities are predicted through palmstry.

Mrs. Agnew’s Diary, Uncredited [Doug Kenney]

The First Colony on the Moon, By Alan Abel

Does the Name Pavlov Ring a Bell?, By Hugo Flesch

Blight Section Intro Page, Text uncredited; Illustration by Peter Bramley
Goofy cartoon showing a diseased and sad old man–who, presumably, represents mankind–surrounded by pollution and chemicals.

S.P.L.A.T., By Jean Shepherd; Illustration by Gail Burwen
“Watch your step, ladies and gents, the dog days are here.”

Walden, Schmalden, Uncredited

Bizarre Magazine, By Fran Kafka [Doug Kenney]
“Watch your step, ladies and gents, the dog days are here.”

Sludge Magazine, By Christopher Cerf, Michael Firth, and Michael O’Donoghue
“Polly Pollutant sez: ‘Oil’s well that ends well.'”

Rick’s Shooting Gallery, Written and illustrated by Rick Meyerowitz
“The nice man who has made it so easy to find a four leaf clover.”

Missionary, By Robert Hoffman
“Hush up, bwana, the natives are evolving.”

Bizarre Magazine, By Fran Kafka [Doug Kenney]
“The fashion handbook for a snappier, lovelier you-235.”

Operation Plowshare, By Henry Beard
“If we could only blast our way through to all that milk and honey…”

Extinction, By Michael O’Donoghue
“It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you slay the game.”

Contaminated Critters, By Mark MacArthur“Some of the discharged oil slick from Noah’s Ark.”

An Interview with Smokey the Bear, By John Weidman
“A fireside chat with the last of the red hot mammals.”

Our Threatened Nazis, By Nicholas Fish [Henry Beard]
“Whatever happened to the great herds that once roamed Europe?”

Marc Trail

The Sound of Muzak, By Peter Schickele
“Ferrante and Teicher or Pratt and Whitney, take your choice.”

The Fruit Gum Cycle

Pollutionland, By Mort Gerberg
“Tinker Belle welcomes you to the enchanted land of foop and gack.”


Clean Energy


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