Your Unauthorized Guide to the Golden Age of National Lampoon Magazine

46. Re: The Panic Button WTF?

January 24, 1999

Q: I don’t get it about the “Panic Button.” It didn’t send me anywhere except further down the same page. My cubicle-mate said it might be some sort of joke or it’s just not working right. I’m taking a hell of a chance here, surfing on company time, and probably so are a lot of other people, although I didn’t see one of those counter-things on your page. So, Ed, my cubicle-mate, and I have decided not to bookmark your page because it’s just too chancy. Don’t e-mail me back if it starts working, either, because they snoop your e-mail around here. (They’re bastards, I mean it! I’m deleting this the minute I send it.) I’ll check back occasionally when the snoops are on lunch break. I hope you’ll understand that I can’t use my real name. And that’s not my cubicle-mate’s real name, either.

A: Don’t panic. Yes, it’s just a joke. There is no “Panic Button.” I meant to put one on every page when I first created the site, but forgot about it. I noticed much later that I had forgot to implement it, I added the explanation as a cop out. It’s my favorite kind of joke: the logical paradox. Is it true or not? No way to tell from reading it. I hope you didn’t really fall for it and that you won’t get in trouble from me replying to you, whoever you are.


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