Your Unauthorized Guide to the Golden Age of National Lampoon Magazine

117. Bernie X. Illustration by Robert Grossman

July 17, 2007

Q: Any fans of “Bernie X” and/or illustrator Robert Grossman (who did the well-known Nixon-as-Pinocchio cover) know in which issue they came together? According to Mr. Grossman, the picture showed a “long-legged gal holding a pistol disguised as a slab of lox, a taxi visible between her legs coming up [NYC’s] Crosby St.”

A: It appeared in the June 1983 (Adults Only) issue accompanying the article “Tips and Tales from Bernie X: The Spy Who Came” by Gerald Sussman. (Thanks to Vepo for providing the answer.)


There was a parody of the poster from "For Your Eyes Only" which was the main illo in a story in the 5/83 issue.

—Vepo McJeeters

July 5, 2008 7:41 pm

I'm sorry. 6/83. The "Adults Only" issue.

—Vespo McJeeters

August 5, 2008 5:10 pm

the nixon-as-pinocchio cover was october 1972: "The Miracle of Democracy" {"government for the people, by the people, in the people's, and up the peoples"}. i lost it and went to lampoon's office and bought the very last copy way back in the early '80s. i still have it. found your site while i was looking for robert grossman puppets that i didn't buy - and damned well wish i had - of nixon/agnew: they were about $35 each in 1981 at a store in greenwich village called Speak Easy, now long gone. damn it. take care, r

—rick Lawrence

August 7, 2008 11:08 am

Thank you, Vespo. The Lampoon, I know, spoofed that image more than once. Good recall on your part. Rick, I envy you your visit to Lampoon headquarters. I moved to NYC a year ago, and for the hell of it once stopped in at the old NatLamp office building, but of course everyone's long long gone.

—John Figler

September 17, 2008 11:52 pm

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