Your Unauthorized Guide to the Golden Age of National Lampoon Magazine

110. Poem About Doctors

November 29, 2006

Q: Many years ago the National Lampoon ran a poem about doctors. One of the lines (from memory) was: “We’re doctors, we’re doctors, we’ll treat you like cats./We’ll cut off your buttocks and wear them like hats.” Any chance you can locate it?

A: According to Hulka: “It’s an excerpt (more or less) from the fake “Yale Medical School Alma Mater” in the piece “Doctor’s Privilege Kit” by P.J. O’Rourke.” Thanks Hulka! The issue it first appeared in was May 1975 (Medicine) and later reprinted in the “National Lampoon Treasury of Humor.”


It's an excerpt (more or less) from the fake "Yale Medical School Alma Mater" in P.J. O'Rourke's piece "Doctor's Privilege Kit." Don't know which issue it's from, but it's in the "National Lampoon Treasury of Humor."


December 1, 2006 9:22 pm

It's in the May 1975 "Medicine" issue, p.63. Hulka is right that it's the Yale Medical School Alma Mater song in "Doctor's Privilege Kit." ("We'll poke you and probe you and peek everywhere. We'll laugh at your body while you're standing right there." All sung in Latin, of course, so as not to rub it in.)


December 2, 2006 10:19 am

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