Your Unauthorized Guide to the Golden Age of National Lampoon Magazine

61. Chinese Menu and Sherlock Holmes Comic

November 11, 2003

Q: Can you tell me what issues of National Lampoon contained 1) a hilarious Chinese restaurant menu parody and 2) a comic book parody featuring Sherlock Holmes?

A: The Chinese restaurant menu appeared in the December 1978 (Food & Festivity) issue in an article featuring parodies of various kinds of restaurants. The other one would be “The Strange Case of the Queen’s Pupils” by Michel Choquette & Charles O’Hegarty’s from the July 1971 (Pornography) issue. (Thanks to William for the Sherlock Holmes parody answer.) More info and discussion in the Comments link below.


I remember a parody of various ethnic restaurant menus. I probably have the rag stashed in the attic and I'm to lazy to dig it out but it would be in one of the spring-summer'78 mags.

—Mark Harrison

December 7, 2003 6:36 pm

Thanks, Mark, for the lead. The Chinese restaurant menu appeared in the December 1978 (Food & Festivity) issue in an article featuring parodies of various kinds of restaurants. The restaurants were: Chez Plomaine, Healthy's, Dayle Carnegy Family Restaurant, Mama Scumbaggi's, Wing Wang's Temple of Chinese Food, and The Steak Pits. Still looking for the Sherlock Holmes parody.


December 8, 2003 10:54 am

Would he be referring to "The Strange Case of the Queen's Pupils," Michel Choquette & Charles O'Hegarty's Sherlock Holmes parody from the July, 1971 "Pornography" issue (and subsequently reprinted in "The Best of National Lampoon No. 1")?

—William Ham

December 14, 2003 6:16 am

There was an issue that came out in summer 1989 that had a mock Chinese menue.


January 25, 2004 7:14 am

Regarding the Chinese menu, I think the 1989 issue is the one I'm thinking of. I remember reading it around that year and laughing to the point of tears at the descriptions of the food and drinks. Does anyone have the exact issue?


January 12, 2005 9:09 pm

The funniest one ( chinese menu parody ) ever was titled 'Ben Wa's Lucky Garden' or something like that. The cover was a back shot of a hot brunette sitting nude and Indian-style on a diving board. There were a hundred guys facing her, looking up toward the camera whan it was shot. The issue was calleded VACATION, or something like that. I'm pretty sure it was 1984.

—Mark G.

March 16, 2005 10:21 pm

Since the first time I ever read that menu, I always use the phrase round eye when referring to non asians.


August 1, 2005 7:27 pm

The Chinese menu featured "Barbecued Baby Shrimp Ribs." The Italian menu featured "Ficci alla Bambini (baby feces in a cream sauce)."


August 13, 2006 7:47 pm

been looking for it also..i remember a drink on it called "the bellowing caucasion"


February 5, 2007 1:21 pm

The Chinese restaurant menu had "slippery noodles with wet sauce," and "Wang Dork Dong, double hung sliced pork" I have to remember not to look for that on local menus!


July 15, 2007 5:45 pm

The Chinese menu was one of the most hilarious pieces the magazine did. I recall menu items such as Twice-Convicted Pork, Sad-Eyed Beef, Sik Fuk Duck, Shrimp with Duck Spurt, Lamb with Dick, Boat People Prawns, and Shiny Broccoli with Rayon Sauce. There was "General Haig's Chicken" which was forced-marched to the kitchen, bent over a boiling pan, and brought to completion by the willing chef. I forget the names of the stiff drinks but they promised to put your ass in a sling and the 2nd one to be served for free in 'our shiny bathrooms'. The attention to detail was priceless, the fine print etc...I wish I had a copy of the menu. I'd buy someone a plateful of Sik Fuk Duck just to have it.


March 15, 2008 2:15 pm

The Chinese menu was written by P.J. O'Rourke, I remember that much. It had items like "Bird Drop Soup" and "Twice Chewed Pork." The nice thing was that it was all text, so you read it and sort of double-taked as the terms sunk in. Years later, Rick Meyerowitz took the same menu items and drew them as rather unsubtle cartoons.


April 3, 2008 1:11 am

Summer Sex issue 1989, one food item was a hot pot dish that when you lifted the lid " the smells of the world were released into your face" Hilarious


May 6, 2008 11:01 pm

The best was the "salt frightened chicken"

—Bobby Bile

December 27, 2012 8:47 pm

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