Your Unauthorized Guide to the Golden Age of National Lampoon Magazine

7. “My Vagina”

December 28, 1997

Q: I remember a story called “My Vagina” that appeared in an one of the issues. Would you know where I could find this?

A: That would be the April ’79 issue. It is also included in the National Lampoon Tenth Anniversary Anthology (1979). By the way, that story was written by John Hughes, the guy responsible for Home Alone, NL’s Vacation, Ferris Bueler’s Day Off, etc. I doubt they’ll do a movie treatment of “My Vagina” though…:-)


"My Vagina" was a sequel of sorts to the earlier "My Penis" (and the Mara McAfee illos were the same exact pose -- someone kneeling on their bed holding their underpants open and staring gapemouthed in shock at the contents visible only to them). In "My Penis," a twentysomething girl wakes up with the other team's equipment, and discovers she has male-aggressive tendencies and strength to match. The comic payoff is that she invites her jerk boyfriend over and forces him to blow her. The hero of "My Vagina" was a high school teenager; at the end he's unmasked by his high school buddies who proceed to rape him. In both first-person narratives, they gradually return to their own genitals, but the boy still has to get an abortion.


September 6, 2005 5:24 pm

I was wondering if I could get the script for "My Vagina". If so I would be much obliged.

—Mojo Mork

September 30, 2005 4:41 pm

I remember in this story two things - trying to figure out how to use feminine hygiene products (a big pad for the big hole and the little tube thing for the smaller hole), and having orgasms while riding his motorcycle to school (had to make a few extra laps around the parking lot to finish them off befoe class)


March 15, 2007 2:29 pm

The wonderful Bob Larkin did the illustrations for both articles.

—John Figler

September 19, 2008 12:24 am

I happened to find both My Penis and My Vagina with the original illustrations at

—Teresa Bowers

June 16, 2009 3:31 pm

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