118. “Schickelgruber’s”

Q: Does anyone remember a National Lampoon story about the opening of a franchise called Schickelgruber’s, in which the muzac was a loop of the Hogan’s Heroes theme. I believe I first read it somewhere between ’75 and ’82. The chief protagonist, whose name I forget, did the young waitress on the counter, near the end. “As he loosed himself in her ruby youth,” a most memorable line, he asked, “what kind of birth control do you use.” The reply went something like “prayer, she hissed.” I’m almost sure it was a NL story, but not quite. I’m out of leads. Ideas anybody?

A: It didn’t ring a bell with me, so I did a search for “hogan’s heroes” on the National Lampoon Complete DVD, but nothing useful came up. If anyone knows the answer, please post it in a comment.

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